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  • Rashidah Beatson

4 Signs that Your Dating Standards Are Too High

Updated: Dec 29, 2019

Everyone has their own standards when it comes to dating, we respect ourselves so we won't settle for less than we deserve. Our standards has an impact on our decision to pursue a relationship or not, if a person doesn't reach our standards why waste your time right? We imagine ourselves dating someone who will tick most of our boxes - kind, tick. Funny, tick. Attractive, tick. You smart too? Tick. You're rich, have your own house and drive a Ferrari?! Well damn, triple tick! Sometimes our list of attributes for our dream partner is way longer than it needs to be. When there are too many boxes that need to be ticked off, it becomes impossible to actually find someone to build something with.


It's fair to say that some us limit our opportunities when it comes to finding love. You should never have to settle for less don't get me wrong but it's important to be more open when it comes to searching for the 'one' - the person meant for you might not always come how you imagined them to be.


1) You Have Been Single For a VERY Long Time

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When you've had no luck in the dating game for a while, it's time to reflect on these ideals that may be causing your prolonged singlehood. There's certain things you just won't push for which is understandable. If they earn income from 'illegitimate means' or they're an ex convict for traumatic reasons, I can see why you would want to turn the other way.


If you say no to everyone who asks you out, you're not giving yourself a chance to find that potential someone who will treat you how you should be. That loving relationship you long for could be right in front of you, so why push it away? You don't need to agree every time someone asks you out but grabbing a drink or a coffee wouldn't hurt anybody!


Throw your pessimistic views about your love life away if you carry them so strongly. It's hard to get yourself back out there after a bad relationship but you need to have some faith and belief that a good person is out there for you, not every man/woman will ruin your life - we promise you.


2) Everyone Says You're Too Picky

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If your friends are having a go at you for being too picky it's probably because you are. Don't be so quick to discourage your friends from setting you up on a date, you never know when cupid will show up at your door. You would be surprised by what could potentially arise when you take the opportunity to get to know someone. Even if nothing romantic stems from a date, you could engage in an interesting conversation that is worth having. A strong friendship could form, they might know someone who knows someone that could help with your business or they might be a valuable person to add to your network. You just never know! Any blessing could come as a disguise if you allow it to.


3) You Refuse to Join Dating Apps

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The thought of meeting someone on a dating app used to make me want to vomit. Seriously. I initially thought dating apps were the very last resort you should ever use, if your eggs are going to expire THEN you should consider using it. Besides, it kinda screamed desperation to me - but why?


The stigma around online dating is still very much apparent despite how many people use it. If you've had negative experiences that made you come to such conclusions fair enough, although most of us have created these judgements without even using one before. The usage of dating apps has become more common because most people don't have the time to go soul searching in clubs and bars. Dating apps is worth a shot - especially blixr. You can set up your date on the app, ensuring you take these connections in the real world whilst creating the opportunity for a love story to unfold.


4) You Prioritise Looks Over Everything

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You obviously can't force yourself to be attracted to someone you're not attracted to. Although first impressions are important, when you are asked out by someone who is decent looking don't reject them because they are not a 10/10. The more you get to know someone, the more attractive they may become. If you have so many things in common, it's hard to refrain from seeing where things could go. When their mindset is admirable and you're impressed by how intellectual they are, you may find yourself more attracted to who they are than their looks.


Think about all your crushes. Have you ever found yourself in a position where you're crushing hard on this really attractive person but once you get to know them, you're disappointed and heartbroken because their gorgeous looks doesn't match their personality at all? Well my friend, I have and it sucks.


Standards are important and so is having the openness to meeting your future love. Even if the person doesn't tick every single box on your list of "100 must haves for my future woman/man", they could be exactly the person you're looking for. Don't limit your chances for finding that special someone, increase them instead!


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